The Unusual Goose and the Imbecilic Woodcutter

The Unusual Goose and the Imbecilic Woodcutter

A parody in rhyme by Guy Wetmore Carryl, 1898.

The Unusual Goose and the Imbecilic Woodcutter

 

A woodcutter bought him a gander,

Or at least that was what he supposed,

As a matter of fact, ’twas a slander

As a later occurrence disclosed;

For they locked the bird up in the garret

To fatten, the while it grew old,

And it laid there a twenty-two carat

Fine egg of the purest of gold!

 

There was much unaffected rejoicing

In the home of the woodcutter then,

And his wife, her exuberance voicing,

Proclaimed him most lucky of men.

“‘Tis an omen of fortune, this gold egg,”

She said, “and of practical use,

For this fowl doesn’t lay any old egg,

She’s a highly superior goose.”

 

Twas this creature’s habitual custom,

This laying of superfine eggs,

And they made it their practice to dust ’em

And pack them by dozens in kegs:

But the woodcutter’s mind being vapid

And his foolishness more than profuse,

In order to get them more rapid

He slaughtered the innocent goose.

 

He made her a gruel of acid

Which she very obligingly ate,

And at once with a touchingly placid

Demeanor succumbed to her fate.

With affection that passed the platonic

They buried her under the moss,

And her epitaph wasn’t ironic

In stating, “We mourn for our loss.”

 

And THE MORAL: It isn’t much use,

As the woodcutter found to be true,

To lay for an innocent goose

Just because she is laying for you.

 

 

More poems

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *